Decision made...

{Cass, we know that you love your daddy and mommy. Indeed, we love you very much too and that is why both daddy and mommy couldn't let go of our own standpoint easily on the decision of whether the new chemo drug should be taken. We are so sorry to unintentionally put our daughter into such a painful dilemma yesterday! You are truly brave and courageous, and are so thoughtful in understanding two totally opposite decisions, of daddy's and mommy’s, in an attempt of not hurting our feelings. You have actually inspired me a lot!}

Since we couldn't reach a consensus on the issue of whether or not to try the new chemo drug, we all decided to wait for the report on the MRI that Cass had just taken yesterday, and then to review the report with Dr. Baruchel today prior to making a decision on the next move. Dr. Baruchel gave us the MRI reports and the bone scans, he explained to us the condition about Ca's right arm, tried to give us a brief analysis of the new study drug in relation to Cass’ situation, and spelled out all the pros and cons of the chemo to the best of his knowledge. When he came to the end of his overview, we tried to ask Cass for her preference. We did that because Papa Andy and Mama Carmen were holding firm to their opposite beliefs. Anyways, I told Cass that I would support her in any decision she would make. 

Cass' tears started running before she could respond a word. So the doctor and the nurse left the room and let the family discuss alone. Cass felt pain as every single word slipped from her month, tears dropped from her eyes, "I can't just go without trying anything!"....."I prayed that God would guide me to decide from the MRI report; if the tumours have shrunk, I wouldn't take the new drug; if the tumours were growing, I would take the new drug. But now my tumours didn't get bigger or smaller. I don't know how and which way I should go!" ……..When I saw Cass getting stuck in the dilemma, then I said to her that it's ok if you couldn't make any decision right now. Even if we couldn't make a decision, we could still continue to pray for it. With a long pause, Cass continued to say in tears, "but I don't feel right without daddy's support." Papa didn't say anything but wiped her tears! She finally made the decision, and the chemo would be scheduled this Monday (Oct. 20). However, we will continue to pray, pray that we will have peace among our family, and that this is indeed the way He leads us to. After all, Cass is right...as I won't feel right either without papa Andy's support!

Cass suffers physically and psychologically in her cancer, the doctor mentioned to us that the chance of recovery for her right arm is very low. He further explained that the tumor is located on the nerves causing inflammation in that area, and that's why she is having more pain and less mobility in her right arm even after receiving the radiation. Hearing her prayers to cope with her daily struggle which includes her pain in her right arm, catching up with her school work, being able to integrate in her school environment and the treatment plan, and seeing her continuing to work hard on her homework (just like last night when she went to work right after the MRI from the hospital), Cass expresses her bravery in facing her everyday's challenges. She is thoughtful and cares about our feelings. I suddenly couldn’t hold back and cried out, "God have mercy on Cass".

Please pray for God’s mercy on Cass. Pray for the mercy from the Almighty Power on Cass. We need God’s direction to the way for Cass's treatment, and trusting that God will make all things right.

(While I was preparing this update, I received a phone call from Dr. Baruchel who informed me that Cass might not be eligible to the use of the new study drug as planned. Since Cass has recent nerve problem in her right arm, and nerve problem could be one of the side effects from this Chemo drug, hence the drug company found that the planned new chemo drug to be not suitable to Cass at this time. As such, the chemo this Monday was cancelled and the medical team would look for another appropriate drug for Cass in the mean time.)