Home. Concerns. Sharing.

August 6, 2014.

We were‎ home around 3:30 p.m. this afternoon. The doctors were very concerned about Cass's condition as her right leg seemed to have reduced power and difficulty in eliciting ankle/knee reflexes. Babinski is going down and no clones can be elicited. We were told not only to just monitor her fever but also to pay attention to the lower limb/buttock/pelvic. Tight lying, numbness, pain, and increased muscle weakness may all suggest an evolving spinal cord compression.

One of her school friends made a quick visit and that cheered her a bit. She's in a very sad mood today but able to eat quite a lot of pasta at night. She was organizing her Polaroid pictures which she took at Sickkids and put down the date for each of the pictures. She asked me to get her the graduation photos. I felt her sadness while she was looking at her grad pictures.

Cass started to write her journal last night while she was at Sickkids and said that she would still like the "FEARLESS" from Karen EE's calligraphy. She started to doodle and wrote her daily journal. But, it was so heartbreaking when Ca said "Mom, can you promise not to read my journal?" I said pinky promise. Then she said: "you can see it when I die...but you may find it to be boring." I swallowed my tears and said, "Let Mommy start a journal with you, and you would be able to read mine." Ca said, "Don't do it just for a week, and you wouldn't continue." "Of course", I said, "And you could read it when I die." Mommy will continue to write, and Cass can read years later.

Papa Andy was sharing the Ecclesiastes 3:1-12 NIV with Cass.

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: 

a time to be born and a time to die, 

a time to plant and a time to uproot, 

a time to kill and a time to heal, 

a time to tear down and a time to build, 

a time to weep and a time to laugh, 

a time to mourn and a time to dance, 

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, 

a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, 

a time to search and a time to give up, 

a time to keep and a time to throw away, 

a time to tear and a time to mend, 

a time to be silent and a time to speak, 

a time to love and a time to hate, 

a time for war and a time for peace. 

What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live."

Smiley Face from Cassidy Fearless

Cass is writing journal