Lord, Help Us to have Strength, Courage & Faith

Following up on the 5-day radiation round that Cass took and completed last Saturday, we brought Cass back to Sickkids this afternoon for a general review. The oncologist explained to us that it would need to take a few more days before they could clearly confirm the effectiveness of the last radiation. However, for the time being, even though Cass did not find drastic improvement in her right arm, she seemed to feel less stiffness there than before. Anyway, we are booked to return to the hospital for another general review and meet with the surgeon next week. By that time, maybe the doctors will determine if a surgery will be required to reduce the pain and stiffness of Cass’ right arm by creating spaces around the nerves in the shoulder area in order to relieve the pressure from the tumours.

After the check up today, we went directly to see a new Chinese herbal doctor for some herbal medicines to strengthen Cass’ physical body and maybe her immune system as well. During the consultation, when we mentioned the proposed surgery for Cass to ease the compressed nerves, the Chinese doctor recommended that we discuss and get opinions from Cass before we should determine the conclusion.

At this point, we are hoping that all her tumours will stop growing and will just stay stable in her body. I pray that I would be able to leave everything to my Lord- all my worries and troubles, and rely on His guidance, especially on Cass's future treatment plan. Please continue to help praying for the potential process of the new chemo drug, pray for the improvement of Cass right arm, pray that her arm could be improved without the need of a surgery, and pray that we will still be able to follow calmly step by step right behind our Lord.

We were encouraged by the Bible verbs on the charm. Thank you Vicky E E for such encouraging and meaningful scripture charms for Cass.

scripture charms from Vicky EE

STRENGTH : "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

COURAGE : " Be strong and courageous, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:4

FAITH : "When I am afraid, I will put my trust in you." Psalm 56:3

(Cass was so happy to have some fun times with her friends in the weekend and sometimes even in the weekdays. Thanks for your love to Cass!)
 

Friends Forever

Be still, and know that I am God

Cass was happy that she had one extra day to catch up with her homework because today was her PA Day. She was working hard on her homework after the visit to her Oncologist and nurse. Dr. Baruchel was checking to see if she had any improvement of mobility on her right arm after the radiation. Cass could, still, hardly lift up her arm more than 45 degrees, her neck was more stiff than before, and the pain in her right arm was bothering her most in the middle of the night and in the morning. The doctor said that it might take a week or so to see if there's any improvement on her arm. If her arm is getting worse, the surgeon said they could open some space in between her nerves by surgery so that her mobility on her arm could be improved. In the meanwhile, there're some tumours in her lower back (L1 and L2) and one in her femur that haven't received radiation yet. They are the next problem in Cass's situation. However, Cass needs 21 days to settle her radiation before trying the new chemo drug. We are hoping that all her tumours will stop growing; they are just staying stable in her body for the time being.

I actually woke up with the Bible Verse "Be still, and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10). Maybe I was still worrying too much and had lots of terrible dreams. While I was doing my devotions and listening to the hymn "Be Still" (Thank you so much to Eleanor for giving Cass this Psalms for the soul CD), I prayed that I could be able to leave everything to Him; all my worries, troubles, and rely on His guidance, especially on Cass's treatment plan, even though Cass's symptoms and the growth of the tumours are unpredictable. If the tumours could just stop growing; if they could just stay still and be stable there until the doctors could find the drug and the treatment to cure her cancer. Please continue to pray for Cass, especially for her mobility in her right arm. Pray that her right arm will be back to normal and she won't required any surgery for it.
 

September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month

There is so much to be thankful everyday

Cass completed her 5-day radiation treatment this morning. We made a quick visit to the Distillery District. When we saw the big LOVE, we thought of the love from all of you. We just wanted to give you a big "THANKS" from the bottom of our hearts. We saw God's love pouring on Caca from you all. Cass was actually very tired after the quick tour. She took a very long nap in the afternoon, and she really had a good sleep. She was so thankful to be able to have a little walk in the Distillery, have a long sweet nap and have lots of people getting her the yummy and healthy food. Right at the dinner time, Auntie Jenny delivered her freshly cooked organic veggie soup and freshly baked cookie. After the soup, Cass said: "Mom, I am too fat now with all the good food from everybody "

Thank you so much for all of your prayers, love, and support. ️

Update from Day-4 Radiation

September 19, 2014 (Friday)

Cass woke up very early this morning for her day-4 radiation treatment and met the radiation oncologist afterwards. The doctor explained to us about the pain in her right arm. She seemed to be getting more pain during the current radiation round because the radiation would cause some swelling and inflammation that would compress her nerves more. However, it's a good sign that means the radiation is working. Cass went to school after the radiation treatment as she still felt good to go to school and to catch up. I can't thank you all enough of your prayers! Thank you!

Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding. — Proverbs 3:5

Cass in her school uniform

Day 3 of Radiation

I decided to let Cass stay home this morning since the pain on her right arm woke her up in the middle of the night in the last few days. She would have a day to relax before her day-3 radiation this afternoon. Meanwhile, I could have a break and rest a bit from the busy schedule in the morning. To lighten the knapsack that Cass has to carry to school every day, I prefer to drop off her lunch box before lunch on a separate ride. Since Andy's car had not been running for the last week or so, I was required to drop off Caca to school in the morning and Andy to his office, then drop off lunch to Caca at lunch time, and then need to pick up Andy from his office and Caca from school to go Princess Margaret for the radiation. It seemed that I was just going in a big circle between home, Cass's school, and Andy's office for the last one to two weeks.

Recently in a chat, Cass mentioned to me that she just wanted people to treat her normally,  to make friends, and to join the school activities if she was able to. However, she felt that the new school is too big and too hard for her to make friends since everybody there seemed to be very busy with their own activities. To make it worse, all other students in the classes started school more than a month ago, whereas she just started school about a week ago. As such, Cass now would need to double the effort to get back to normal and fit in with her peers in the classes. While Cass finished her lunch and we still had about 10 minutes to go on the road, I looked up to the sky and realized it was relaxing. I thanked God that no matter how busy or hectic a day is, I could still have my moment to admire nature. Someone told me once that God is just a prayer away; so are all of you just a phone or a message away? Could I ask you to pray with me for God's mercy and grace on Caca; pray that the tumors on her neck will be effectively controlled and even shrunk by the radiation, and that the pain in her right arm will be gone to let her have good sleep at night. Further, we also need your prayer support for Cass's' schooling. Pray that she will soon be able to make good friends in school, that she could be able to catch up with her already-behind school work, and that she can just enjoy her school life as others can.

Radiation to start tomorrow

We are truly living one day at a time and relying on God each day....

Originally, we had already scheduled to receive the new chemo round with the study drug today. However, last Saturday Cass suddenly felt heaviness and aching in her right arm. We needed to rush her down to Sickkids emergency for a detailed MRI investigation. The doctors confirmed that the heaviness and numbness was from the tumors on her neck (C5) that were not dealt with in the last radiation rounds. These tumours had grown larger in size and were compressing the nearby nerves that consequently caused the problem in her right arm. Cass now has difficulty moving her right hand; she could barely lift it 45 degrees above her body. Even though Cass was scheduled today for the new chemo with the study drug, these symptoms are a more crucial issue and need to be addressed right away. Hence, her oncologist decided to control the tumours with radiation immediately and cancelled the scheduled chemo for the time being. We are hoping that the radiation can effectively shrink the tumours so that Cass's right arm may be able to recover. If not, her oncologist was consulting Dr. Hopyan, her surgeon, to see if the tumours on her neck (C5) could be removed by surgery.
 

CT Scan and mask making in preparing for Radiation

Because of these unexpected symptoms, we went to Princess Margaret Hospital to meet the radiation oncologist and go over the necessary preparations. A mask was made again prior to the 5-day radiation starting tomorrow (Tuesday).  Anyway, the radiation appointment is scheduled for 3:30 p.m. on Tuesday to Thursday, 8:40 a.m. on Friday, and 10:00 a.m. on Saturday. The radiation schedule will work fine for Cass because most of the appointments are in the afternoon. Cass still can attend her school before the radiation every day and just needs to leave the last class of the day a bit earlier in order to get to the hospital in time. Since the radiation will be on her neck this time, she may feel dryness, soreness, or even difficulty swallowing food afterward.

May we continue to lift Cass's treatments up in your prayers:

Please continue to pray for Cass that the radiation will be effective in shrinking and controlling the tumours on her neck; that her right arm's function will return to normal. Pray the side effects will be minimized. May God grant her strength to go to school while she is going through all her treatments.

Psalm 119:169-173 NIV
"May my cry come before you, Lord; give me understanding according to your word. May my supplication come before you; deliver me according to your promise. May my lips overflow with praise, for you teach me your decrees. May my tongue sing of your word, for all your commands are righteous. May your hand be ready to help me, for I have chosen your precepts."

Update After MRI

2:29 am

After the MRI, the doctors found that one of her tumours at the back of her neck was, actually, getting bigger and had compressed the nerves to her right arm, restricting mobility. The on-call fellow and doctor would consider radiation for that spot if her previous radiation session didn't cover that spot. However, Cass is scheduled to start the study chemo on Monday, and it cannot be used with radiation. They are going to give the reports to her oncologist and nurse since Cass will be seeing them for the new chemo. The doctors believe that she is still safe to go home unless her arm gets worse before Monday. Please continue to pray for Cass and God's guidance for the treatment plan.

Urgent Prayer Request

we are at Sickkids emergency now because Cass couldn't lift up her right arm since this morning. She told us that last night her right arm had problem and ached and it's getting worse today. When we called the oncology on-call fellow, he asked us to take her back to Sickkids for MRI as he was worried that it might be caused by the compression of her spine. Please pray together with us!

School, Blood work and Surprise!

Cass was so grateful she finished her third day of school today and was glad that the school councillor had stopped changing her schedule. She was getting tired of walking into new classes with different people every day. Hopefully she can make new friends easily and be able to catch up on all the lessons and homework she missed because the school started at the beginning of August. Since the school she's attending is an athlete school, they're used to students being away all the time to tournaments or competitions, so the school is flexible about Cass's situation. She was hoping that she could be able to go to school next week even though she will begin her new chemo process next Monday (chemo has been rescheduled because Cass needs 21 days to settle from her radiation before starting the study drug). I just encouraged her that she would go to school whenever she felt strong and comfortable. She was so happy that she would do art class every day; she has never had time to quietly sit down and draw regularly when she had been busy with her swimming schedule before.

We went down to Sickkids to do the blood work right after Cass’s school this afternoon. Cass was super happy to see a package from the Canadian Paralympics Committee when she got home from the hospital. The package really cheered her up a lot and is a great encouragement to her. Thank you so much to the Canadian Paralympics Committee for such a heart-warming present to Cass! It really brought her a sense of belonging. She feels that she is still part of the group - a para athlete.

Cass with her new look and her new hair style. Thank you to all who donated their hair. Also, a special thanks to Ching E E who covered the balance of the wig.

Cass was feeling grateful to be able to go for her new high school three days in a row

A wonderful gift from Canadian Paralympics Committee.

Chemo is rescheduled

At the last minute we received a note from the hospital stating that the planned chemo on the new study drug will need to be rescheduled to another time. That is, no chemo today as previously scheduled and Cass could go for her 2nd day of her new high school. Thereby, Cass can have one more weekend with nice weather to spend with us and with her friends before chemo. The postponement is due to the fact that we need a settling period of 21 days from the last radiation Cass has received. As such, the chemo with the new drug will start on the coming Monday, Sept. 15, instead. As usual, prior to the chemo, Cass has to go for the blood work first. To let Cass get more opportunity to get familiar with her new school and get acquainted with her new classmates, we pick the afternoon time for the blood work. That is, we will need to rush down to Sickkids after the school day.
 

Decisions Made

September 9, 2014.

This morning (Tuesday), we all went down to Sickkids, as previously scheduled, with heavy hearts. The hospital appointment today was to confirm the future treatment plans proposed for Cass. In the doctor's office, Cass signed the documents, giving consent to use the study chemo drug. For the last two or three weeks, my whole family has been praying fervently for a decision: whether we should let Cass try the new study chemo drug or not. We also prayed for Cass's new school term. The process with the study chemo drug will start this Thursday. Before signing the consent form this morning, we met an oncologist for a final review of the usage and some details about the new drug. Our plan is to let Cass resume her school term whenever she is capable and available, even during her future chemo cycle. She will start her new high school term tomorrow (Wednesday) morning at Bill Crothers (Cass was very excited about it).

Cass with Denise Mills, Nurse Practitioner-Paediatrics

 
Papa Andy was still very worried about the new chemo drug for Cass. During the family prayer time for the last two nights, he shared his feelings with us about Cass's situation. He honestly and bravely asked Cass if she understood that she might not be able to live a life as long as daddy and mommy could live now. The new drug was not meant as a total cure for her illness; it's only for palliative. Furthermore, the new drug is still in the research and test stages; it might have unknown side effects that would be harmful to her or be unable to effectively control and shrink the tumors……. Papa Andy was not comfortable and had doubts about the new drug as he didn't want to see the new drug shortening her days as a result……hence, he would prefer the whole family to have enough time to focus on the quality of life for Cass. He also stated that he had been praying hard for it and he trusted that God would grant us a good quality of life together. Cass burst into tears right after Papa had started the topic and we all cried hard that night. He encouraged Cass not to worry as Heaven is real and Jesus would be the answer. He shared the verses from John 14:1-7 which he had heard at Uncle Joe's funeral on Sunday and found so comforting. Papa Andy asked Cass not to be afraid of the day, she needed to leave, to come and promised Cass that he would stay with her as much as he could and that he would quit his job next year (that's why he has been training uncle Eric to continue his job) so that he could stay with her all the time. We all prayed in tears and cried out for God's mercy, grace, and guidance on Cass's upcoming treatment plan. At the end, we asked Cass to decide for herself whether she should take the new drug. After the doctor's analysis of the possible side effects of the new drug, the concerns from Papa Andy, the insights of Mama Carmen,and the thoughts from Gor Gor Aaron, Cass said to us this morning, "......after all, it's still worth to try." Therefore, we are all supporting her decision with the new chemo treatment which will start this Thursday.

Please continue to join our family in prayer. Pray for us for God's leadership, pray that the coming treatment plan is in God’s hands........ that the new drug is a new hope for Cass……that God will help Cass through the use of the new chemo drug.......and that Cass will be able to attend and manage her routine at the new high school. Above all, sincere thanks for all of your prayer support over the past few weeks when we were at the crossroads, puzzled with the prospects of the study chemo drug and with her high school term.

John 14:1-7 NIV
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.” Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?” Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him."

"A brave spirit makes all things possible"- Camp Ooch for children with cancer

I was so delighted to see all the brave spirits/girls gathering together for Cass at "Ooch Downtown" in the evening of this past Thursday. On that morning, Cass and I were at Sickkids for a series of tests and scans that were required to prepare her for her next treatment. All these tests and scans went on and on and did not finish until around 5:30 p.m. in the late afternoon. Even though we were so exhausted physically, we rushed ourselves to the party. Cass had been greatly looking forward to meeting up with her Ooch friends and counsellors after all of her recent tests at Sickkids. 

Camp Ooch became a big part of her life since she joined at 8 years old. It's her second home and she could always be who she is...being normal, being fun, being silly, being brave to try new things...being embraced by loving people and making friendships there.

I really wanted to thank Sarah Nelles for organizing this gathering for Cass and I hope that Sarah knows that I deeply appreciated her calls and emails since she learnt about Cass's health condition and to organize such a cheerful gathering for Cass. I emphasized to Sarah how Cassidy loved the camp and how important Camp Ooch was to Cassidy. Sarah responded that, "It's the people. The people are amazing. It's the amazing people that make the camp special". Yes, the people are amazing...the kids, the staffs, the counsellors, the Med-shed team, the volunteers...they are all there to make an amazing camp - a place to make them who they are, to make friendships, to make memories, and to be brave for their lives.

Cottage - Labour Day Long Weekend

We had a very peaceful and relaxing weekend at a cottage by the lake. We actually didn't do much but just spent most of the time there reading. Even though we chose to run away from the city and stay in the countryside, we still found ourselves busy in preparing meals and the special diet for Cass as we brought along with us a lot of homemade food, healthy stuff and Chinese herbal medications.
 

By the lake

What a quiet time reading and enjoying

Some good chat

Cass with Papa

Reading, Reading & Reading.. So good!

Cass with Mama

We are so thankful....thanked God for giving us such a lovely weekend. We could as one family eat, read and pray together by the lake. We were embraced by the beautiful scenery and nature created by our God, and we were breathing the fresh air by the lake. As indicated by Aaron and Cass, we all thanked God for all the amazing and loving people around us in every prayer. They gave thanks for everything and they treasured every moment. In particular, we thanked Auntie Hilda for letting us stay at her cottage and her great support for us. Also, thanks for the Aunties in our church who had prepared food for us while we were tied up with the appointments at hospitals. Some even had rushed food to us right before we headed off to the cottage. We all vividly saw God's love through the work done for us by the loving people surrounding us.

During our prayer times, both Aaron and Cass stated that September would be very important to them....Aaron would start school in one more week while Cass would start with a series of scans and tests again (MRI, bone scan, echo, ECG, blood work, etc…..) before her next round of chemo. Because of such a complicated and busy schedule, we could never be able to quietly figure out the appropriate date for her to start her high school term (regardless of whether she would stay in Bill Crothers or would move to another high school). Further, if we agree to use the new chemo drug, we still have a lot of unknowns, especially about what kind of side effects it could have on Cass's body.

As the summer holidays just came to the end and the new school term has just resumed, I prayed that everybody had a good school year. Please continue to pray for us and ask that God refresh our mind such that we can reorganize ourselves in the new term. Pray that Cass can physically stay up for the busy hospital schedules and the necessary medical checkups and tests. Pray that Arron can quickly adapt to his new school term of his 2nd year program, and pray that Andy and I can continue to pick up God’s pace and patiently follow Him step by step.