New Year celebration with very best Camp Ooch friends!‏

After the early Christmas celebration with our aunts and cousins, Cass' friends, from Camp Ooch, came yesterday for an early New year celebration. However, Cass was not feeling well since Christmas Day and hadn't been out of her room since then. Even though Cass came out to join the party at the end of last night, she was a bit sad because she couldn't join her friends to do the things together as she could have done back in summer at the camp (which was only a few months ago). Currently, Cass could barely feel her fingers and could not even hold the spoon to do the cupcake together with them. She felt better when she saw the photo album and frame they made for each other. They sang songs with the Ukelele again. After they had left, Cass asked Gor Gor Aaron to do the journal for her. Even though she was a bit sad for what she has been with, Cass still find it to be thankful for all the little things, love and care shown to her from her friends and other loving people all around her. Cass always keeps it in her conversation with me: "I love you so much mom." "I love you too!"

I read Psalm to Cass every morning:- PSALM 5

O Lord, hear me as I pray;
Pay attention to my groaning.
Listen to my cry for help,
My King and my God,
For I pray to no one but you.
Listen to my voice in the morning, Lord.
Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly.
But let all who take refuge in you rejoice;
Let them sing joyful praises forever.
Spread your protection over them,
That all who love your name may be filled with joy.
For you bless the godly, O Lord;
You surround them with your shield love.

Camp Trillium friends

very best friends from Camp Ooch (best friends forever)

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

"Merry Christmas everyone!" Caca said to us. "I knew that I could make it to Christmas!" Cass woke up early in the morning and greeted us with kisses. Then she went back to sleep.
Cass had a very special guest yesterday- Eleanor McCain, a professional singer, and her husband came to sing Christmas carols for Cass. Eleanor and her husband, Jeff Melanson, have beautiful voices and sung touching songs. Although Cass was in pain, she was in great spirits and enjoyed the afternoon with her cousins and aunties.

In the late evening, Rev. Kwong and some families from our church came to celebrate Christmas with us. Later on, some of our cousins came to join the celebration. Cass was in great pain at the beginning. However, she was able to continue eating the food while we all were singing Christmas carols to her in her room. Even though she couldn't stay with the group for too long, she felt the love from everybody! We are so thankful to have so many loving and caring people around us.

The warmth and love surrounding Christmas is a joy to be savored with family and friends. It is a time to give and share with one another. As Christmas carols fill the air with joy and merriment, I wish you a joyous Christmas and a Happy New Year.

Cassidy's Definition of Fearless

I'd like to share Cass's "Fearless" from her journal:  

I feel the need to tell my story, things about me, experiences, stuff I want to do and more. I feel the need....... Nobody is fearless, but some just aren't afraid as much as others. I am one of those "some people". I have strived to be fearless ever since I lost my leg, although I did not know at the time. I knew when I started swimming, around the time I was told of Stephanie Dixon. Fearless, that one word meant a lot to me and even more the older I became........ My definition of the word fearless is to be determined; don't ever give up! Hard working, a great leader, knowing the word impossible isn't true, breaking the limits, have crazy goals and dreams..... "Fearless" is in a positive way. Lastly, the word "fearless" to me is to not be afraid for The Lord is with us and not against us. "....and I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." (Psalm 139:14)

YOUR WORKS ARE WONDERFUL!

God, please help us in celebrating Christmas!

It seems that Cass' most difficult days have yet to come! I did ask God many times that whether it would be too hard for Cass and for my family to bear the situation! At times, my intellect thought that it was the time of the hardest situation......God would move His helping hands to take care of Cass, subdue the pain and make her comfortable......However, it seemed not turning out that way, the doctor had told me couple of times that the hardest days for Cass were coming. The doctor suggested that we seek advanced assistance from other professionals to talk with Cass and to get her prepare for such time to come. Are we all prepared for it? Am I prepared for that day?

I heard that Cass told the nurse that she felt the change in her body. She could tell that she was getting worse, and she actually felt the deterioration this morning! I noticed that Cass woke up a few times with tears in her eyes but she didn't say anything in front of us! She was looking at each of us with such a face that she had so much to tell us, yet she didn't say a word! I comforted her that it would be ok to cry out and to get upset. I told her she did not need to hold her emotions and she had been too brave with her situation. She couldn't even hold the pen to continue her journal last night! Her first watercolour painting that was just completed last week could also be the last painting that she could work on her own! Right after her first painting, she was so thankful that she could be able to finish it. She wanted to continue on painting as well as her journal.
While everyone is looking forward to celebrate the upcoming Christmas, the very special occasion at which God has shown His love to mankind, I would also like to ask that you join me in prayer, asking for God’s love and mercy on Cass. Pray that Cass and my family will continue to keep the simple faith on our Lord, and to just rely on Him to live each day. Also, I would pray that God will reduce the pain from Cass, let her feel more comfortable; and more importantly to have the comfort from Divine as it's a torture to see herself gradually loosing the movement of her body (now her arms are very heavy and head is very heavy and stiff); it is torturing all of us too!

Update after meeting with surgeon

Cassidy was at Sickkids, earlier today, for CT scan and meeting with dental surgeon about possible surgery on tumour in mouth.

In the midst of the night, Cass cried and was frighteningly calling out for Dad and Mom. She cried that she did not want to lose the mobility of the arms. The pain on her arm has been bothering her so much and getting serious day after day. Her hands and fingers have been numbed and tinkling for the past few days and she's afraid that they would soon be the same as her leg. She's been thankful and satisfied with some little activity, whether it's writing journal or painting etc, daily. If the mobility, of arms, is gone, she would be unable to do anything.

Praying with Mama and Papa, Cass cried out loud asking for the grace and mercy of God to allow her to keep the movements of arms, just a little moment a day, she would be joyful! It's heartbroken to see and hear her so helplessly. God, we really need your help and guidance, whether it's an opened door with peace and hope ahead of us or the comfort from You in accepting everything that's been happening.

After praying, Cass was more calm. She asked Mama Carmen if her arms could not move, would Mama continue the painting for her, and if Mama would move her hands from time to time just like what Papa and Mama have been doing to her leg. "Definitely!"

Preparing for something to happen is one thing, accepting it when it truly comes is another.

While typing this up, Carmen called and told me that they were back to Emily's House. The CT scan result and conclusion from the team were negative. In a nutshell, the tumours at the neck and mouth and back are very aggressive, the one at the lungs was rather stable comparatively. The physician commented that not sure if it's a blessing or curse. It's not the life-threatening tumours being aggressive, it would mean that Cass may have to be consciously observing the losing of the functioning of the body. The hardest days for Cass are yet to come.

Please pray fervently for Cassidy! Pray that God's peace and comfort be with her and the family. Truly hope that she can have the little mobility to keep her company! Pray that the aggressiveness of the tumours can be quiet down! Pray that Cass feels the company of God in and out!

Surprise - Fearless

December 15, 2014.

This evening, Cass's coach and Megan came to visit Cass with a surprise, which was a big big banner with "Fearless" on it. They just came back from Edmonton and brought the banner to Cass. This gift was very meaningful for her since many members from other swim clubs had signed their names on the banner to show their support for Cass during the Can Am Swim Meet that was just finished last week in Edmonton. Cass' swim club will keep the banner in Variety Village. Our special thanks to Karen Williams, the Para Storm swim team in Winnipeg made this special banner for her, and to the support of many other swim clubs!

PEACE and HOPE are your STRENGTH

I have actually been learning a lot from Cass, especially when I heard the way she gave thanks to God in her prayer for every little thing each day. My heart still ached when I was thinking about the Christmas holidays and the fun things we used to do at this time in the past. I would like to take her out for shopping and experience the Christmas atmosphere in the city. I want Cass to have some fun at Christmas....... She started her first watercolour painting last week and would work on it whenever she woke up and had the chance to. I watched her continuing with her painting and, even if it was just for 20 or 30 minutes, she was so focused and enjoying her time while she was painting. She didn't want much and simply thanked God that she was able to continue on with her painting even though she was working so slowly and maybe just one petal each day. A Bible verse came to me 「得力在乎平靜安 」"For the Lord, the Holy One of Israel, said, In quiet and rest is your salvation: peace and hope are your strength...." Isaiah 30:15

Thanks Sam EE for painting with Cass during your visits. Cass really wants you to continue on the painting when you get back to Hong Kong

We are coming to a point where we need God’s guidance again in order to lead us through the crossroad ahead of us. The tumours along Cass’ spinal cord have been bothering her a lot. The pain, from these tumours, is becoming more severe than ever. However, the one in Cass’ mouth has been bothering her the most. It badly affects her in talking and eating. As such, the hospital was trying to control the tumours in her mouth and at other locations with the newer medical treatment.

Last week, Sickkids had reviewed, examined,and concluded that “ultrasound frequency” could not be performed on Cass. To help Cass subdue the pain, a CT scan will be scheduled, the Dental Surgeon and maybe the Plastic Surgeon from Sickkids will meet us this Tuesday to look into the possibility of removing the tumour in Cass’ mouth through surgery. We are once again in a dilemma. It would be good if Cass’ pain can be removed or reduced. However, we do not want Cass to go through another major surgery just to gain a temporary reprieve from pain. Further, we believed that the hospital would have carried out any viable treatment for Cass already should the treatments be considered effective. As such, we need God’s guidance to walk us through. Deep down in our heart, we do not want to see Cass suffering the pain every day. The pain is unceasingly bothering her. But, we are also worried about whether such proposed treatment could improve anything at all.

We need your prayer support, we need to have a clear mind to see God’s plan, we need to be aware of His guidance, and above all, we need to humbly trust in Him.

My perfect Christmas tree

Cass's Northlea friends, Mackenzie and Madeline, set up this Christmas tree for her earlier. Rob and Rebecca added on two angels. MaMa (Christina) added four more birds. Then, Cass picked the best DIY present from Bee EE to add on the tree to make her tree so beautiful and unique. Today, Rosana E E sent over the little cross to make it festive and perfect. Cassidy is so happy with her Christmas tree adding the Cross as a final touch.

My Perfect Christmas Tree

Thank you for all of your incredible kindness. The thoughtful gifts and the encouraging messages do brighten up our days.

We wish everyone a joyous and meaningful Christmas!

I'd like to share a message from Rebecca and Rob to Cass:-

"In this Christmas season, we ponder the meaning of Christmas - God had sent "good". His angels like a messages to announce Jesus' birth. Like what you and your family had shared in your baptism testimony, we all witness God's greatness and love. He had already sent you and your family "angels" in my life."

"These are ten things God wants us to remember:
I am for you
I love you
I believe in you
I will not fail you
I will be with you
I will be provide for you
I will bless you
I will give you rest
I will strength you
I will answer you"

Visit to BCSS on Nov 26

The following link was the video when Cassidy visited her school, Bill Crothers Secondary School on Nov 26 (Wednesday), with Stephanie Dixion during the art class time.

Visit to School video clip

Thank you for everyone, Principal, Vice-Principal, teachers and students, Stephanie and many more!

The big Fearless poster, with images that Miss Gillis captured from the commercial, with all the encouraging messages from Cass' art class.

Our sincere thanks to the school for shooting the video clip of Cassidy and keeping the video as part of the 2014/2015 yearbook. I appreciate such a supportive move done by the school for Cassidy. She was very excited when she first viewed the video. She was excited not only because she was in the video, but also because she saw so many school staff and students supporting her spiritually. Thanks for the work the school has done for her. Owing to her health condition, she has not been able to attend most of the Fall term. However, if her condition were to improve, she would definitely want to return here to resume her studies.

Also, thanks again to the art class teacher, Miss Gillis, for sending Cass some watercolor supplies so that she could do the water color painting, at Emily's House, while she's awake. She enjoys it so much!

Your continuing prayer support is much appreciated!

Early Christmas Party on Dec 6

Since Cass wanted an early Christmas Party as she was afraid that she wouldn't be able to physically make it for the family Christmas party at a later time, we had a Christmas celebration with the whole family at Emily House on Saturday night, Dec. 6. As every little move from her bed to her wheelchair caused her so much pain, Cass stayed in her bed during the celebration. However, towards the end of the party, we successfully transferred her to the wheelchair. Even though it was only for a very short time, she picked the best DIY Christmas presents for Aaron and herself, and took some pictures with all the family members. She was so happy. She thanked God for blessing her with such great family members and she was able to join the celebration at the end. (We, thank you for all our loving family for the efforts to make this Christmas party so special for her, specially thanks Sam EE and Karen EE for the "Fearless" tee shirts for everybody). She praised God and gave thanks as everything was from Him- it's all about Him, Jesus.

"Truly, God works in mysterious ways. The wheels of His mercy and justice move quietly, but they do move. The birth of Jesus Christ — the Son of God, our Savior — went unnoticed by the vast majority of the world that first Christmas night, but no event in human history was more significant. May His birth — and all it means — not go unnoticed in our lives!" That First Christmas by Billy Graham.
 
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord.
“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55: 8- 9 (NIV)

As a matter of fact, she is so weak and has lots of pain. She was hoping that she would be able to do one little thing each day. Please continue to pray for God's mercy on Cass. Despite watching her suffering in so much pain and losing all of her mobility, she still responded to my kisses and hugs with her sweet smile. My heart ached and my whole being was torn apart in pieces. Please pray fervently for God's mercy on her and comfort her....cry out for His mighty hand to take away her pain and her suffering.
 
We brought Cass back to Sickkids this morning (Dec. 8/14) to do x-ray and to consult another group of doctors to find out whether the new technology “ultrasound frequency” can work on Cass. This is a newer medical treatment that may possibly help Cass control the tumours in her oral cavity and at other locations of the body. However, after the anesthesiologist has reviewed the overall medication that Cass had taken in the last few months and assess her current physical condition, he concluded that "ultrasound frequency" is not applicable to Cass. Please continue to pray to God for Cass, pray that her tumour in the mouth will stop growing so that she could eat and swallow food without too much trouble and pain.

Cassidy's Update - 2014.12.07.

Thank you for all your support and prayers! Just want to give you a brief update here as I have gotten from Mama Carmen verbally. It's hard for her to find time to write due to the situation of Cassidy. I asked her not to worry about the updates but Cassidy and their family. 

Cassidy has been physically weak. Day after day, only a few hours is she awake. Even then, she's been cheerful and thankful for being able to get out of the room for just a while. It's been difficult and challenging to help her out of bed.

The hydromorphone CADD pump (similar to morphine) and ketamine CADD pump (nerve pain control) have been increased to very high dosages and still, she has been painful all the time. It's hard for her to move.  

During the daily prayer, Cassidy spent most of the time praising and thanking God for His grace and mercy and blessings and for all the loving people surrounding her. Then she prays to God for miracle in healing her if it's God's will, and if not, prays that God's comfort and courage be with her and her family. She is so mature a 14-year old girl. 

Please continue to keep Cassidy and her family in your prayers. We pray for God's healing hand, emotional comfort, and to minimize Cassidy's suffering

Swimming with Cassidy in our hearts!

We would like to thank all the Swim Clubs which are having the Can Am meet in Edmonton. They are thinking of Cassidy and including her at the Can Am games with their thoughtful poster "Swimming with Casidy in our hearts". They are planning to have every member signed it and to bring it back to Cassidy. Cass was extremely touched and even though she couldn't swim with the teams she's thankful to the kind thoughts. Thank you to Para Storm Swim Club for sending us the pictures below and for sharing with us.

At this time, please continue to remember her in your prayers. Cass is having frequent fevers these few days and with more pain on her arms and back and her little leg as well. She seems to be getting very weak and only up for a few hours of the day. However, when she is awake and up doing something, she enjoys crafting a lot which makes her extremely happy.

Update of Cassidy's Status

Cassidy was so weak and had fever for two days after the Baptism but her spirit was good. She has not been feeling comfortable since she lost the sensation in her leg. And the tumour in her month seems to be growing bigger in size each day such that she is having problems eating which she enjoys so much. 

The pain has been bothering her so much that she has been unable to rest or sleep well recently unless her leg was perfectly positioned.
 
As she did not have enough sleep, she is feeling a bit irritable.
 
Please help by praying to God to strengthen her to cope with her daily challenge and to let her easily sit in a comfortable position when she takes a rest and sleep comfortably through the night. As we try to assist her, pray that we have the patience to comfort her, communicate with her and understand her needs.

Cassidy's Testimony during Baptismal Ceremony

This is God’s grace to move people’s hearts. As what Cass had said in her prayer in the evening on the day of her Baptism, it was God's blessing to see that many people showed up to witness her Baptism....because of many loving people in her life that made her didn't want to leave and wanted to stay....If it's God's will.

The following shows the entire passage of Cassidy’s personal testimony, shared to us, in the Baptismal Service.
 

"My journey with Christ began when I was 4 years old. At the time, I was watching the Toronto Passion Play with my family. At the end, the pastor called the crowd to accept Jesus Christ and repent. I raised my hand, much to everyone's surprise. I believe this moment marked the start of my journey.
 
3 years later, I was diagnosed with bone cancer in my left leg. I'd been practicing ballet at the time, that was my first dream destroyed. However, cancer drew me closer to God. As far as I could understand, I relied on God. One night, while my mom was crying, I suddenly woke up and reassured her that everything would be okay because of God. I simply trusted God in a situation no one could control.
 
I emerged from the surgery room without my left leg. It would be roughly two years of recovery before I found myself swimming at Variety Village, age 9. At first, I swam for leisure, but very soon I took interest and began training and competing. Suddenly I found myself actively competing in the Provincials, and then the Can-Am competitions. I showed up in a commercial for the Paralympic. Swimming became the most important thing in my life. However, as it became more important, Jesus became less. In 2014, the cancer came back. It was dealt with, but in July it came back again - all over my body. This recurrence caused something amazing. Even though it shattered my dreams again. I drew closer to Jesus. My entire family did as well; and they drew closer to each other. The church became more active in prayer. My dad told me he saw record numbers at the prayer meetings.
 
I continue to rely on Jesus all this time; through the surgery, the radiation, and the move to a hospice. I have left everything in His hands."

More pictures...

 

 

 

 

 

More pictures plus video clip

During the ceremony, a video clip was played. Here is the link.

Also, more pictures taken by different photographers.

Have a blessed day!